Nautical Humorists Gifts

'Martha, what are you supposed to tip in this situation?'

'Hold it, there! Prepare to be boarded.'

Fishing from a Fish

Queen Elizabeth 2. Yankees ). I told you they wouldn't think it was funny.

'I think they're getting ready for a feeding frenzy.'

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Japanese Whaling

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'We're drifting apart.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'