Nautical Comedians Gifts

'I knew we shouldn't have parked here - they booted us!'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

The Conveyance of a Corkscrew Hand

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

CAPTAIN PLUNGER. Colour