Aquatic Comedians Gifts

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"Krill, baby, krill."

Guide fish.

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

Another hot flash?

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

"It's been over for a while now. I caught him trying to fertilize some catfish eggs in June."

"Annette Caster, do you take Rod N. Bates to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

A Classic Goldfish Game.

Acme Coffee Co.

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

'I'm a Pisces.'

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

I'm not just being paranoid, Margret. His breath smells like dolphin and I even found a flipper in his coat pocket yesterday. I really think Earl's hitting the bottlenose again.

"She's definitely had work done on her tail."

A fish wearing scuba gear.

'Sperm Donor Whale.'