Underwater Comedian Gifts

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'You better have a good excuse for being late.'

"You guys got to see the ridiculous lure this guy thinks will fool us!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Guide fish.

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'I'm a Pisces.'

"What's a nice plaice like you, doing in a girl like this...?"

A Classic Goldfish Game.

'That still doesn't make you a big fish!'

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

Oddly familiar formation.

'Like it or not, I'm having a guys night out. I'll be at the sand bar!'

"Wow, that was some fart!"

'Sperm Donor Whale.'

'Every school has a class clown.'

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"

A fish wearing scuba gear.

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."