Underwater Comedian Gifts

If you two don't keep the noise down, I'll have to separate you.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'You better have a good excuse for being late.'

"You guys got to see the ridiculous lure this guy thinks will fool us!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Guide fish.

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

Another hot flash?

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

'I'm a Pisces.'

"What's a nice plaice like you, doing in a girl like this...?"

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

A Classic Goldfish Game.

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'That still doesn't make you a big fish!'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

'Sperm Donor Whale.'

'Like it or not, I'm having a guys night out. I'll be at the sand bar!'

A fish wearing scuba gear.

'Every school has a class clown.'

"Wow, that was some fart!"

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."