Ocean Comedian Gifts

"Who farted?"

Diver writing 'clean me' into whale's tail.

"Sean, are you teasing the seagulls again?"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Shark food pyramid.

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"You can find me on Inkedin."

Fish Farm.

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

'He was born to the sea.'

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Jelly Fish

"What's that clicking sound?"

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

Fisherman catches a mine.

School Crossing

'Yeah, I know, but don't worry, I've scared the living daylights out of him: He'll never spear-fish again...'

When the prey becomes the predator.

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"