Seafarers With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

'I think they're getting ready for a feeding frenzy.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

"I said 'how about some dessert,' Andy. Dessert!"

Exempli Gratia.

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

Fisherman catches a mine.

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

'Help.'

"Not in front of the crew!"

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

Full use should be made of sea objects put there for your convenience.

"Now Harold, you know those always give you heartburn."

"Three Morons At Sea."

I can't stand it when they double park!

'At least, we're marooned on a big island: It took me an hour to walk around it...'

Pirate points to Plank Walking notice nailed to mast,

You're stopping me for sailing & drinking? No sweat. I can swim in a strait line!

Oh boy, what do you think they're trying to catch with that?

Sardine Funeral.

"Who farted?"

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

'So, what'd I tell ya, huh? Just like chicken on a biscuit.'