Nautical Joke Enthusiast Gifts

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Fishing from the Pier

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

Walking the Plank.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Man painting MOM on boat

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'We're drifting apart.'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

The Nor'easter Bunny.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Fish near-death experiences.