Beachgoer Satire Lover Gifts

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Mankini - One size fits all.

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

A beach has meters.

Why do men wear long short pants?

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'This is totally bananas!'

Tsunami Selfie

'A working vacation, your honor?'

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

"Out of curiosity. . . how much vacation time would I get?"

'Up periscope!'

I think we are just too darn tasty to swim in the sea!

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

"The food is great, but the service is terrible."

"PSSST! Check out THIS old bag!"

'You! Shame on you!'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"