Ironic Beachgoer Gifts

A beach has meters.

"Out of curiosity. . . how much vacation time would I get?"

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Brighton Bersagliere.

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Who are you trying to fool, that's a beach towel.'

1930's bather.

Try and ride Brexit the donkey

Shrink's Summer Job

"Not exactly a snowman!"

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

Why do men wear long short pants?

Academics at the Beach: "Camus might agree with you. De Beauvoir? Maybe. But Sartre? Never."

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'I thought you said inflatables were allowed on the beach.'

'It'll be a working vacation.'

Hiker and the Rodents.

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

Geek Beach

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water.

'Is this the way to the beach?'

Tsunami Selfie

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

A sandpiper uses a metal detector along the beach.

"Hold on. I need you to sign our release form."

World's sma.... llest beach

'Don't worry. I have no intention of drinking the water.'