Beachgoer's Laugh Gifts

The Leathery, Shapeless speedo sporter.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Mankini - One size fits all.

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

A beach has meters.

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

Why do men wear long short pants?

Tsunami Selfie

'I am wearing my bikini!'

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

'What do you mean, we have a lot in common?'

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

Sure, she could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk, shock the jock, lock the dock or even hawk a little sunblock.

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

'A working vacation, your honor?'

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

Man falling out of a bathing machine

"Out of curiosity. . . how much vacation time would I get?"

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"

"I'm never using SPF zero again."

Donkey Rides - Not for overweight children.