Beach Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Donkey Rides - Not for overweight children.

'Martin doesn't like the sun...He prefers it in the shade!'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Brighton Bersagliere.

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

'I think its being tapped.'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I think your pot has roasted.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

Why do men wear long short pants?

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

Tsunami Selfie

Sure, she could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk, shock the jock, lock the dock or even hawk a little sunblock.

'Listen, yes, I'm an hermit, but a simple Hermit-Crab: I do not answer philosophical questions!'

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

'A working vacation, your honor?'

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Man Wins Second Prize in a Knobbly-Knees Competition.

"You and me open a chip shop. Whaddaya say?"

Dead mermaid

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"