Beach Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Brighton Bersagliere.

'I think its being tapped.'

Mankini - One size fits all.

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

'I think your pot has roasted.'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Why do men wear long short pants?

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

Tsunami Selfie

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'A working vacation, your honor?'

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

Sure, she could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk, shock the jock, lock the dock or even hawk a little sunblock.

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

Dead mermaid

Man Wins Second Prize in a Knobbly-Knees Competition.

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

"You and me open a chip shop. Whaddaya say?"

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

Backwards Buccaneers

'Look at those waves.'

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

Look! It's the invisible man!!

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"