Beachside Humor Lover Gifts

'A working vacation, your honor?'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Mankini - One size fits all.

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Why do men wear long short pants?

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Tsunami Selfie

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

Dead mermaid

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

"Who's a pretty buoy, then?"

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

"PSSST! Check out THIS old bag!"

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"

"What is this, bread?! No, man, we meant bread. We want your money."

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"

One day on Mussel Beach.