Beachside Humor Lover Pillows

'A working vacation, your honor?'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Why do men wear long short pants?

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Tsunami Selfie

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

"You and me open a chip shop. Whaddaya say?"

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Dead mermaid

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"

"Who's a pretty buoy, then?"

"PSSST! Check out THIS old bag!"

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

Look! It's the invisible man!!

"What is this, bread?! No, man, we meant bread. We want your money."

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"