Beach Humor Lovers Gifts

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

Brighton Bersagliere.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'I think its being tapped.'

Mankini - One size fits all.

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Pass the SPF 20,000

Why do men wear long short pants?

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Tsunami Selfie

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

Sure, she could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk, shock the jock, lock the dock or even hawk a little sunblock.

'A working vacation, your honor?'

"You and me open a chip shop. Whaddaya say?"

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

Dead mermaid

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

'Whoah - surfs up!'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

"The starfish doesn't want to stay on top of our Christmas tree!"

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

"PSSST! Check out THIS old bag!"

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

'Look at those waves.'

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"