Beach Humor Fan Gifts

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

One day on Mussel Beach.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Brighton Bersagliere.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

'I think its being tapped.'

Mankini - One size fits all.

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I think your pot has roasted.'

Why do men wear long short pants?

Tsunami Selfie

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'I'm going to give you an extra week of vacation just to see if we can get along without you.'

'A working vacation, your honor?'

World's sma.... llest beach

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

Dead mermaid

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

"Who's a pretty buoy, then?"

"PSSST! Check out THIS old bag!"

"What is this, bread?! No, man, we meant bread. We want your money."

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"