Beach Comedian Gifts

'I think its being tapped.'

'Hey kid! You wanna bury somebody in the sand?'

Brighton Bersagliere.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

Mankini - One size fits all.

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

No petting in the pool!

Why do men wear long short pants?

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Tsunami Selfie

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

'You know, I don't think I've ever seen a Bank Holiday before...'

Schematic Map of Seaside Heights Town Beach, Summer, 2007

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

'There goes Tokyo.'

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

"Sean, are you teasing the seagulls again?"

'What a RIP-off!'

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

"Who farted?"

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

Man with fake shark fin hat encounters shark with fake human legs.

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."