Beach Comedian Gifts

'I think its being tapped.'

'Hey kid! You wanna bury somebody in the sand?'

Brighton Bersagliere.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Death Takes A Time-Share

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

Why do men wear long short pants?

No petting in the pool!

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

Tsunami Selfie

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

'You know, I don't think I've ever seen a Bank Holiday before...'

Schematic Map of Seaside Heights Town Beach, Summer, 2007

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

'There goes Tokyo.'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

"Sean, are you teasing the seagulls again?"

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

Man with fake shark fin hat encounters shark with fake human legs.

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

"Who farted?"

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."