Beachcombing Humorist Gifts

Dead mermaid

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Brighton Bersagliere.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Scene on the English coast.

'I think its being tapped.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Mankini - One size fits all.

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I think your pot has roasted.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Why do men wear long short pants?

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

'Old fart and the sea'

Tsunami Selfie

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'You know, I don't think I've ever seen a Bank Holiday before...'

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

"What can you expect with a gag as old as this?"

'There goes Tokyo.'

A fish takes a selfie on land.

"Sir, I look forward to receiving my holiday pay. Seventeen years."

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

'A working vacation, your honor?'

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

"Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed..."

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'