Beachcombing Humorist Gifts

Dead mermaid

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

Brighton Bersagliere.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Mankini - One size fits all.

'I think its being tapped.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Scene on the English coast.

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I think your pot has roasted.'

Why do men wear long short pants?

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

Tsunami Selfie

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'Old fart and the sea'

'You know, I don't think I've ever seen a Bank Holiday before...'

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

'A working vacation, your honor?'

"Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed..."

A fish takes a selfie on land.

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

'There goes Tokyo.'

"What can you expect with a gag as old as this?"

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

"Sir, I look forward to receiving my holiday pay. Seventeen years."

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'