Beachcomber Humorist Gifts

'Fetch, boy...fetch...'

"No presents for you. I'd smash your face...only you're so skinny you might dry up and blow away."

"Great news! The bank has increased my line of credit."

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

"Sir, I look forward to receiving my holiday pay. Seventeen years."

"The line is busy, please try again later...."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

Daughters on the beach

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

Young Picasso at the Beach

Man listening to seashell: 'Oh, Rub-ber Ducky, you're the one ...'

Crab with a clown face.

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

'See you in two weeks!'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'