Beachgoer Humorist Gifts

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

Why do men wear long short pants?

Tsunami Selfie

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Brighton Bersagliere.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'I think its being tapped.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I think your pot has roasted.'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'You know, I don't think I've ever seen a Bank Holiday before...'

'There goes Tokyo.'

"What can you expect with a gag as old as this?"

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

"Sir, I look forward to receiving my holiday pay. Seventeen years."

'A working vacation, your honor?'

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

Dead mermaid

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.