Beachgoer Humorist Gifts

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

Why do men wear long short pants?

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

Tsunami Selfie

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Brighton Bersagliere.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'I think its being tapped.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'I think your pot has roasted.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

'You know, I don't think I've ever seen a Bank Holiday before...'

'There goes Tokyo.'

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

'A working vacation, your honor?'

"Sir, I look forward to receiving my holiday pay. Seventeen years."

"What can you expect with a gag as old as this?"

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

Dead mermaid

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'