Seaside Comedian Gifts

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

'Why do the kids always bury me next to some beach bum?'

Brighton Bersagliere.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Scene on the English coast.

'I think its being tapped.'

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'I think your pot has roasted.'

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

No petting in the pool!

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

Tentacle attacking diver.

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

'Ha! Fake out!'

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

Punch has a smoking break.

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Woman windsurfer wearing a sombrero.

'Sorry, ocean sounds can't be heard due to a computer glitch.'

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

'This is totally bananas!'

'Old fart and the sea'

'Which is the deep end?'

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

'I'll trade you three eight-inch shiners for that 24-inch bass.'

"Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed..."

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

"Sean, are you teasing the seagulls again?"

How to fool a seagull

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.