Seaside Humorist Gifts

'The day after labor day at 8 AM, is good for me, is it good for you?'

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

"Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed..."

The Gulf Stream

Scene on the English coast.

New Season's Bathing Machines

'How about this one . . . untangling holidaymakers from deckchairs?'

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

'There's never one around when you need one!'

"So, what do you do for a crust?"

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Shark food pyramid.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

"You can find me on Inkedin."

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

'I think your pot has roasted.'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

Jelly Fish

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

No petting in the pool!

Tentacle attacking diver.

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!