Beachgoer's Laugh Pillows

The Leathery, Shapeless speedo sporter.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

A beach has meters.

Why do men wear long short pants?

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Tsunami Selfie

Sure, she could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk, shock the jock, lock the dock or even hawk a little sunblock.

'What do you mean, we have a lot in common?'

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

'A working vacation, your honor?'

Man falling out of a bathing machine

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

"Out of curiosity. . . how much vacation time would I get?"

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"

"I'm never using SPF zero again."

"Hey, I saw you dressing me with your eyes!"

Donkey Rides - Not for overweight children.

'Hang in there, buddy! I know CPR!'