Beach Satire Lover Gifts

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

Death Takes A Time-Share

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

'This is totally bananas!'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

'A working vacation, your honor?'

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

I think we are just too darn tasty to swim in the sea!

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

Just In - Untreated Sewage Blobs

'Up periscope!'

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

"The food is great, but the service is terrible."

'You! Shame on you!'

"PSSST! Check out THIS old bag!"

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"

Look! It's the invisible man!!

Donkey Rides - Not for overweight children.

"Is he going somewhere warm?"

"Is your refrigerator running?"