Vacation Humorists Gifts

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

A giant bird snatches a tourist

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"My guess it's guacamole."

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Biliard Enthusiast

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'