Vacation Jokesters Gifts

'I went on a cruise and all I got was this T-shirt.'

'Hotel lovely, weather fine, Tom eaten by Alligator. See you soon.'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Airport Security.

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

"Turns out it was all water weight."

'Are we broke yet?'

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

Two Weeks to Turkey Day. Now, Ernie, you know "Turkey Day" refers to Thanksgiving and not election day.

Easter Island.

Dad helping to build sand castle while tent remains un-erected.

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

Holiday: Been there done it!

'Public beach. Thong bikinis strictly prohibited. No butts about it.'

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

"Attention. This is your captain screaming!"

'What I want for Christmas is a bigger carrot'

"Apparently our hotel is just a stone's throw from the beach..!"

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

Excess Baggage: Never let your wife pack for your business trip while she is mad at you.