Summertime Jokesters Gifts

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

Hotness

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

Two piece outfits only.

"Turns out it was all water weight."

Shark in the swimming pool.

It's my summer robe.

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"It's an amazing snowman darling. I see you've given him Mummys hat, Daddies gloves....and Grandpa's walking stick."

Queen Elizabeth 2. Yankees ). I told you they wouldn't think it was funny.

'Old fart and the sea'

'Sorry, ocean sounds can't be heard due to a computer glitch.'

Punch has a smoking break.

'So that's what hockey players do in summer.'

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

"Stop complaining...now when you wander off in the store, I can find you!"

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

"Chilbains? In July!"

How to fool a seagull

Summertime in Minnesota

Man's T-shirt says: 'PROTECT YOUR EYES: Never look directly at pale legs,'

Santa making the most of his sack.

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

"No father, when I say the man upstairs is angry, I mean my husband."

Snowman horror.

'It's the middle of summer and the family is beginning to fear that you're stalking them.'

"Good news... I've left the air conditioner on so the house will be cool when we get home."