Summertime Jokester Gifts

Two piece outfits only.

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

I fart more than that!

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Must get a longer cable."

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"My husband is fishing. . ."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

Hotness

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

It's my summer robe.

"Shrinkage /ˈSHriNGkij/ noun: 1. the contraction of an object when cooled, 2. the 'Naked Cowboy' in Times Square on a really cold day."

Shark in the swimming pool.

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

The wife made it. Why?

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'Is it plugged in, or isn't it? There's only one way to find out!'

'So that's what hockey players do in summer.'

Punch has a smoking break.

Devil watering tails.

"It's an amazing snowman darling. I see you've given him Mummys hat, Daddies gloves....and Grandpa's walking stick."