Wintertime Jokester Gifts

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

Snowprov

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

It's a bit derivative.

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

Two piece outfits only.

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

"Turns out it was all water weight."

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

Whoa, you've been working out.

"If my husband starts nibbling your ear, you have my permission to confiscate his teeth."