Wintertime Jokester Gifts

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

Snowprov

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'It's easy, just wee!'

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

It's a bit derivative.

Two piece outfits only.

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

Melted But Not Forgotten

"If my husband starts nibbling your ear, you have my permission to confiscate his teeth."

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '