Winter Jokesters Gifts

'He's running a high fever.'

"Shadow? All these years I thought that was my ex-wife!"

"Turns out it was all water weight."

Snowprov

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'It's easy, just wee!'

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

Santa Elevator

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

'ok, who threw that?'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

It's a bit derivative.

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

"Um...you have a little 'hare' in your nose."

Whoa, you've been working out.

Church Parking Sign for Midnight Mass

Two Weeks to Turkey Day. Now, Ernie, you know "Turkey Day" refers to Thanksgiving and not election day.

"This is a stick-up."

The Itchy Back