Cold Weather Jokers Gifts

"I'm allergic to ice."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

Weather today.

Greco-polar wrestling

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

'ok, who threw that?'

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

"Turns out it was all water weight."

Minnesota Weather.

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

My tail's cold.

"Shrinkage /ˈSHriNGkij/ noun: 1. the contraction of an object when cooled, 2. the 'Naked Cowboy' in Times Square on a really cold day."

Eskimo Breaking Wind

"Put on a top hat and scarf. You'll freeze your carrot off!"

'Is it plugged in, or isn't it? There's only one way to find out!'

Winter. I'm starting to think it's not coming at all.

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

Snowman asks boy: 'Mind if I come in too? It's freezing out here.'

"It's an ice scraper. I sweat a lot."

'What do you mean, you want rollerblades?'

Deep Snow All Around

"The bad news is climate change is for real. The good news is it will make the liberal left extinct by 2050."

"OK. You can wait until the last drop melts before you get on the scale."

"Long term I'm worried about global warming - short term, about freezing my ass off."