Cold Weather Humorist Gifts

"Yeah, it's cold, but it's a dry cold."

Don't look at me! He decided it was too cold for a walk.

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Eskimo Breaking Wind

A turtle is wearing an igloo on the North Pole.

"It's an ice scraper. I sweat a lot."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Captain steering house through flood.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

Rude Snowpeople

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"I love this time of year."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Weather today.

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

Greco-polar wrestling

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"