Winter Weather Humorist Gifts

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

"If global warming is real, then why are winters so cold?"

"The rear gunner got me."

'Well you wanted an office with a window.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Captain steering house through flood.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Rude Snowpeople

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"I love this time of year."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Weather today.

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

Greco-polar wrestling

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'