Weather Humorist Gifts

The Honesty Channel's Weather Forecast

"Some cruise! It rained for the entire trip!"

'I swear it wasn't this cold before they invented the wind chill factor.'

"Where's the bad winter they predicted?"

'You're a bit premature. We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl.'

'Finally, everything is back to normal!'

"How did you find the weather on your holiday?"

"Mind you, they did say it would be cloudy."

"You think we like these extra playoff rounds?"

Finally they get it 100% right!

"We went on a week's holiday and it only rained twice - once for 3 days and the other time for 4!"

Naked man walking in the rain under an umbrella.

"Today will be clouded with self-doubt followed this evening with a blanket of denial. Tomorrow will find a clearing of anxiety followed by a sunny disposition."

'His lungs were fine. He died of hypothermia from all those fag-breaks outside.'

'It wasn't a bad hurricane. The wind was at my back for the front nine.'

Summer Solstice Stonehenge

'Know what I got when I let a smile be my umbrella- WET!

How You Know It's Spring...

'Say, Fred...'

'I'd make a run for it, but I'm wearing clogs.'

Met Office "It's a tornado watch"

Ice cream van selling hot soup to Inuits

'Hi, Oognik -- hot enough for you?'

Global Forecasting Institute

Captain steering house through flood.

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"I love this time of year."

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Weather today.

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

Minnesota Weather.

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

"You bet I'm hot! My breed is meant to live high up in the mountains, but my owner was transferred here..."