Cold Weather Humorist Pillows

"Yeah, it's cold, but it's a dry cold."

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Eskimo Breaking Wind

A turtle is wearing an igloo on the North Pole.

"It's an ice scraper. I sweat a lot."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Captain steering house through flood.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

Rude Snowpeople

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"I love this time of year."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Weather today.

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

Greco-polar wrestling

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

It's a bit derivative.