Cold Climate Humorist Pillows

'The only thing I hate about our sub-zero temperatures is we're always surrounded with so much negativity.'

Why the ice bucket challenge isn't for everyone.

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

"A brand new credit card and not an ATM in sight!:

"I love this time of year."

"Every time I turn the hot water on the sink disintegrates."

'I'm going to shoe it over to the convenience store and pick up another bag of ice for our drinks.'

'Put the blowtorch down, and walk away...'

'Okay, okay, you were right -- the espresso machine was a bad idea!'

'All right, I'm done thawing out the freeze, now what was it you couldn't wait to tell me about finally finding two snowflakes that are exactly alike?'

"Now that my new bikini arrived, I am ready for global warming."

"Whoever sold that machine up here in Nome...that was a salesman!"

"I don't blame the delivery guy for our food being cold. He did have to travel 30 miles by dog sled to get here."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

Weather today.

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

Greco-polar wrestling

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"An iceberg the size of Connecticut broke off from Antarctica? How do the taxes compare?"

'What's Iggy doing home from school at this time of day?'