Wintertime Humorist Pillows

Aliens and the cold pole

"Is it me or does this taste like boogers?"

Snowman's Funeral.

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

Rude Snowpeople

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"Frosty the Repairman"

"I love this time of year."

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

Weather today.

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"You have ice water in your veins."

Greco-polar wrestling

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."