Winter Humorists Gifts

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

Who's laughing at my antiperspirant now?

"When they freeze up like that, there's nothing to do but reboot."

"What!! I get hungry standing around all day."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Rude Snowpeople

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

"Frosty the Repairman"

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Weather today.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"You have ice water in your veins."

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"Oooo. That's cold."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

It's a bit derivative.

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition