Winter Humor Gifts

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

'Sorry but that one definitely had to come out.'

"Nothing like a snow zombie."

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'It's easy, just wee!'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

Weather today.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"You have ice water in your veins."

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"Oooo. That's cold."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

"It's freezing out here - can I come in?"