Seasonal Jokester Gifts

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

"I... hate... this... place."

'I watched my P's and Q's all year, except in the summer, when I don't use the alphabet.'

Santa making the most of his sack.

'We were wondering if you could tell us where the naughty girls live.'

"It's an amazing snowman darling. I see you've given him Mummys hat, Daddies gloves....and Grandpa's walking stick."

"Autumn marks the annual turkey migration from North America."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Bug hanging up stockings

"I love this time of year."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'It's a snow mobile.'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'