Outdoor Jokesters Gifts

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

Skiing.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

I fart more than that!

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

"Must get a longer cable."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

"Have you farted. . . ?"

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"My husband is fishing. . ."

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

Fish Training

'How are they biting?'

Fly fishing.

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'