Outdoor Jokesters Gifts

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

Skiing.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

I fart more than that!

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Must get a longer cable."

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

"Have you farted. . . ?"

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"My husband is fishing. . ."

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

'How are they biting?'