Outdoor Humorist Gifts

'I'm sure it is comfortable. But you really should use a golf cart like the rest of us.'

'We're slowly disappearing, Marty. Shouldn't we do something?'

Sign in woods reads: No Dumping.

"I hate crowded parks."

Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.

'A little windy out isn't it?'

'Steady Lulu, steady, ...HEEL!' - The Rare Poodle Retriever.

'Did you hear those ladies behind us hoot and holler when I hit that tee shot?' 'Your fly is open.'

'A little long on the tremolo, perhaps, and not enough obligatto, but all things considered, not a bad call.'

Pulling out Giant Carrot

'I owe you an apology. Your sign actually worked.'

'I'd give it five minutes.'

'Why can't we just have gnomes like everyone else?'

Pre-RV thinking: 'I enjoy tent camping.'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

'I took the liberty of packing your backpack for you. As you can see, I like to pack light.'

Dog retrieves slippers instead of birds.

Fall leaves blowing in the neighbor's yard.

WARNING! Keep out of river! Large,dangerous currant!

'Excuse me, I couldn't help noticing that you're fly-fishing.'

'I must say, your new loo is coming along really nicely.'

'Nice try.'

Lover's leap: Man paining sign falls off.

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

'You do realize you're making things worse?!!'

Skier sees a sign while skiing down mountain: Welcome To Turk's Alpine Jungle Caution next 1/4 Mile No Snow.

"I said you should get a hobby like bird watching."

When challenged to a race, the sliding rocks of Death Valley could move faster than anyone thought.

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

'I didn't say I wanted to Kindle books - I said I wanted to make kindling of your books!'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

The problem with the sport of fishing is that the fish always have the home-field advantage.