Outdoors Humorist Gifts

'I'm tellin' ya, Jimmy, we're sitting ducks out here!'

"No, I said we were going bear hunting...not hunting bare!"

Skiing.

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

I fart more than that!

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Must get a longer cable."

Bird Symbol Hunting

Roads with a view.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

"Have you farted. . . ?"

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

"My husband is fishing. . ."

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

'Look Dear. The first Robin Hood of spring.'

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

"He's really not that scary, Teresa."