Jokesters On The Road Gifts

"Did you notice the 30 mph sign back there?"

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"We'd wanted to adopt for years, and then along came this absolutely adorable little roundabout."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Farts.

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

"Yes, but you're a half hour late in dog minutes."

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Robot porn.

'Any idea why your boyfriend is handing out cigars in the pub?'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."