Travel Jokesters Gifts

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'Guess which is our cabin.'

The Grim Reaper is standing at the airport baggage claim waiting to pick up his scythe case from the luggage conveyor.

"This one's for my sandwich at the airport."

I suffered a freak accident several years ago where I lost all of my fingers except my middle one, so I'm not really giving you the finger, I'm just trying to thumb a ride.

"We have been betrayed by the earthlings!"

Turn around and go home - we'll explain later.

"There is a cat in this basket and I want to take out baggage insurance that will insure that it gets forwarded to some godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere!"

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"So flushing the Man United scarf was OK, but does this French baguette count as 'foreign'?"

"I'm all for reducing our travel-carbon foot-print. . . but are you sure you've thought this through?"

"Finally! I'm saved!"

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'