Travel Joke Collector Gifts

"It's a mousehole, you said you didn't mind sharing."

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Limerick Airport

Can I have a look at the map?

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Passengers arriving on luggage conveyor belt

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Holiday Luggage

Farts.

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

Traffic Sign

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

'Well? How was the flight?'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside