Travel Joke Collector T-Shirts

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

"It's a mousehole, you said you didn't mind sharing."

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Limerick Airport

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Can I have a look at the map?

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Passengers arriving on luggage conveyor belt

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Holiday Luggage

Farts.

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

C'mon! Let's go! Hey, you knew I was a nightcrawler when you married me.

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

Traffic Sign

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

'Well? How was the flight?'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'