Travel Humor Gifts

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

Carefree luggage.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Limerick Airport

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Can I have a look at the map?

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"