Travel Humor Fan Gifts

Tipperary: Long way and short way.

Roman Catholic Guilt Trips

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Guilt trip.

"Well yes, I'm a 'roadrunner', but I haven't been on a road for ages: too much traffic, too dangerous..."

Bulls at Pamplona - 'Next year I'm going to walk.'

'How much is that doggie in the window?' - Dogs in Amsterdam

Gift shop in casino caters to winners and losers.

"We aim to make every event on this cruise pleasurable, sir!" (lifebuoy with duck head on it).

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

"There's a gender neutral toilet under the bed."

"Don't worry, he says they're just here on holiday."

Excess Baggage: By the end of your cruise vacation, your clothes seem to have shrunk for no reason.

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

Bird with Sick Bag.

"New Hampshire kinda welcomes you. Live free or die."

'You fool, Joe - I told you never to stop for hitch-hikers!'

Flight Insurance for Angels.

H.M.Customs 'Nothing to declare' 'Articles to declare' 'Genius to declare'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'You heard me -take me to V'

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

Can I have a look at the map?

Carefree luggage.

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"