Travel Joke Appreciator Gifts

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

Carefree luggage.

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Limerick Airport

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Can I have a look at the map?

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Passengers arriving on luggage conveyor belt

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Holiday Luggage

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

Traffic Sign

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"People are way too casual when they fly these days."

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

'Well? How was the flight?'

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

Customs caution: rabid tarantulas with AIDS inside

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.